How To Turn Self-Hatred Into Self-Love & Bodypositivity

Ligaya practicing self-love

Do you love yourself?

Are you able to look into your reflection in the mirror – into your own eyes – while saying: “You are beautiful!”
Or is this something you would never believe? Is it easier for you to say the opposite, because you believe it more? Telling oneself “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t like my body”, “I am too fat”, often seems easier, than doing the opposite.

There was a time, where I only could tell myself, how much I am disgusted by this body. I told myself all the things I don’t like about this body. I spoke it out loud, while looking into my own eyes – “I hate this belly, I don’t like this body”.

I am not enough. Picture infront of the mirror.

Consequence of Negative Self-Talk

Many times we don’t realize, that we nourish our inner critic while doing this, so it grows bigger and bigger and without even knowing we cultivate self-hatred by telling oneself over and over again, that this body is not good enough, that we are not okay as we are – and in the end – we manifest self-hatred and self-hatred becomes our reality.

My body is not good the way it is.

In consequence of this depression and anxiety arise. Our self-value, self-love and self-esteem are diminished or gone and the frustration grows bigger. We find ourselves in a negative spiral without a way back out.
It sometimes seems impossible. 

But, let me tell you, there is a way out! It can be a long and sometimes hard journey – but it’s definitely worth it going.

Self-Love First. You Are Enough.

Selflove Picture of Ligaya, Stefanie Grace

Tools To Change Negative Self-Talk And Self-Hatred Into Positivity and Self-Love

Here are some tools to change your negative self-talk into positivity.

Start a journal
Reflect on your day, your feelings, your actions and thoughts. What are your triggers and how do you react to them? Why do you feel how you feel?

Be kind with yourself and practice self-compassion
Start talking to yourself like you were talking to a child or a beloved person. You would never be so hard on someone else like you are with you. Practice being kind towards yourself as well, show compassion and always remember to be more patient.

Practice meditation
Meditation helps to get your mind clear. Find calmness in meditation and start with positive affirmations while combining them with your breath, e.g.: breath in “I am” breath out “enough”. Meditation is a great tool to bring yourself back to this present moment – out of the past and back from the future. Notice the sensations in your body, the feelings and emotions which arise – what are the thoughts, the actions which led to those emotions?

Find your ways of self-care
Take care of yourself and find your tools of self-care. Some people need to go to a yoga class or a run, others feel the need of a bubble bath in the candle light. Maybe you need a long walk in the forest or a dip in the sea? 
Self-care can mean to enjoy a cup of tea while reading a book, crafting something or painting a mandala. 
Everyone has a different way – try some and find your way.

Feel your body
It’s really important to rebuild a healthy connection towards the body again. Best way to do this, is to feel the body. Close your eyes and touch your body very gentle. Like you would caress the body of a beloved person. Feel the silhouette of your body and the touch on your skin. Appreciate it and respect it. It is your home, your only one and it’s a good one, just the way it is. Give yourself a hug.

Start with positive affirmations
Tell your reflection in the mirror that you are beautiful the way you are, that you are enough, that you love yourself. And always remember: it needs time to overwrite a manifestation, it needs time to manifest a certain believe. And most important, it needs you to believe this new believes!

After many years of telling yourself one thing, its not done by simply telling yourself ONCE the opposite. You need to say it over and over again. You need to hear it over and over again. You need to say the words, hear the words in your voice in all your confidence!

Let me know if you have experienced negative self-talk and self-hatred and how you are/were handeling it?

Thanks for taking the time to read,
Love & Light, Namasté yours Nini

Social Media vs. Reality – Do You See What I See?

Full body picture Stefanie Grace

No time to read? – Listen here.

"A Picture Tells More Than 1000 Words..." Does It?

There is this saying “a picture tells more than 1000 words” – this may be true in some cases, but when it comes to the topic “‘social media vs. reality” I can’t fully agree with it. I feel more like: “one single picture hides more than 1000 details” – you don’t see the whole reality. 

With all the different filters, lightings and angles our reality gets deceived. Only with the right pose, you can already hide a lot of what you don’t feel like sharing on your social media account. Because of that, it is getting harder to tell, if a picture of a body we see, corresponds to reality.
With this post I want to bring a bit more reality and authenticity to social media, by showing you some details you don’t see. 

Full body picture Stefanie Grace

Some Insights and Details of My Body Which You Don't See on One Single Picture...

The picture above was taken in a great lighting, with a good camera. Afterwards I changed the contrast and the highlights. While the picture was taken, I exhaled, contracted my abs and of course, positioned my pants a little bit higher, to highlight my waist.

Here is my reality and insights of other angles and poses.

The view over the body from above.

...my view of my body from above

The image of the body is changing a lot, depending on the angle you look at it. (I used to hate looking down to body like this).

Spare Tyres of Ligaya Stefanie Grace

...my spare tyres when I sit relaxed

When i sit relaxed on the ground, I'm not showing my abs, I'm showing my spare tyres (they have been with my all my life).

Cellulite of Stefanie Grace

...my cellulite on my thighs

You wouldn't see them, when I'm standing. But when I sit down and sqeeze my thights they pop up!

Stretch marks on the butt of Stefanie Grace Ligaya

...my stretch marks on my butt

A nice pattern on my skin (as my partner use to say) Kind of body art.

Scars and bruses on the shins of Ligaya Stefanie Grace

...my scars and bruses on my shins

The side effect of training jiu-jitsu, jumping around like a monkey the whole day and the habit of not being able to leave wounds like they are (I can't help myself, I really like to scratch).

Don’t let social media deceive your reality.

See YOUR Reality. Appreciate and Respect Your Body as It Is.

I had a time in my life, where I hated the reality as it is. I didn’t like my body at all. I edited every picture I took and deleted every picture, where I wasn’t happy about the reality. Due to my eating disorder I was struggleing with, I didn’t see myself the way others would see me. I was comparing myself with everyone else and everytime I did, I lost the competition. My body never was good enough.. 
I worked a lot on my mindset, with my body and my self image. With all the appreciation and all the gratitude I was cultivating towards my body – for everything it can accomplish – I cultivated respect and love towards my body. 

Now I am able to see and feel the reality and actully like it. And of course there are days, on which I don’t feel 100 percent happy with my appereance, but I also always know why I feel this way – may it be because I had pizza the night before, may it be because I am bloated, because I have my period, or antything else – and this is Ok too, because I see and accept the reality, rather than deniying and hating  it.