How To Overcome Toxic Limiting Beliefs Around Food and Body

Stefanie Grace with a doughnut and salad - diet culture, toxic limiting beliefs around food and body

What Beliefs Do You Have When It Comes to Food and Body?

Food is the enemy! My appetite is bad! I hate my body!

For many years I lived my life being guided with these negative, limiting and toxic beliefs around my body and the food I eat. I would not say it out loud, because I was ashamed, but I constantly was accompanied with the thoughts.

These thoughts were limiting my life to a degree I was not aware of at the time. It sounds very hard, but it’s true:
I secretly wished I would not have a sense of taste, because then I would not crave for so much food. I truly believed my appetite was the reason for my binge eating, comfort eating…

It was very clear to me, if I did not know how something tastes I could not have the cravings for it, which means I would eat less, which means I would lose weight and losing weight was the only way to reach happiness.

And in my reality everything would be ok if only I would have the perfect body. I would find peace and ease in life, as soon as I reached a certain weight and fitted in a certain size.

“If only I would have the perfect body, everything would be ok forever!”

That was a very toxic belief!

The trick with our belief system is, the more power we give them, the more they become our reality. So in order to change the relationship with food we first have to become aware of our toxic beliefs.

So ask yourself on this point:

  • What beliefs do I have when it comes to food and body?
  • Do they lead to a relaxed relationship, to freedom?
  • Or do they always bring me to a point where I restrict eating?
Stefanie Grace, looking at a doughnut.

How Toxic Beliefs Can Affect Our Body:

Here’s a little secret: Toxic negative beliefs can cause greater damage to body, mind and soul than any low quality food!!!

Despite the fact that our beliefs become our reality, they do affect our body on a physiological level. Whenever we fear, get anxious, angry or fulfilled with hate our body reacts in a stress response and the sympathetic nervous system gets activated and dominates. We breathe more shallowly and faster (oftentimes without being consciously aware of it), our heart rate gets faster, blood pressure rises and insulin and cortisol in our body increases.

When the body is in this survival mode the metabolism shuts down.
When you’re being chased by a lion, you don’t have time to think about rest and digestion.

  • The majority of the blood gets pumped into the limbs, because they need to be ready and active in case we need to run away or fight.
  • Cortisol inhibits muscle growth and high insulin can cause dysregulation of the appetite,
  • and because the body fears for life it strongly holds on to every single calorie.

Imagine now you are eating/ not eating/ training/ resting in a constant fight or flight (survival response) mode.

No wonder why it seems so hard to lose weight, why we think we have a slow metabolism and an appetite which is out of control… It’s NOT your fault, it’s not because you are weak, or have less willpower than others. No, it’s the constant stress response you are in BECAUSE OF the toxic beliefs you have about your body and the food you eat.

“I am learning to take care and nourish
my body in a loving way.”

What Can We Do Now in Order To Change?

Simple. Get out of the stress response, activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the “rest & digest” mode of the body. When the body does not have to fear for survival, it can relax.

The heart rate and blood pressure regulate themselves, the breath is deep and slow and the metabolism runs at full speed. The body happily uses the calories and nutrients because it does not have to fear starving.

Using the BREATHE is the easiest way to get your body into a relaxed mode and out of stress response. Once you breathe like a relaxed person your body will notice and your brain will think “Oh I am breathing like a relaxed person I must be relaxed then”, and switches into relaxed mode, the parasympathetic nervous system dominates and your whole body physiology changes.

As mentioned before, first you have to become aware of this pattern, then catch yourself in these moments and decide to breathe deep and slow as long as you can/want/need.

BUT this has not yet solved the root cause of the stress response: the toxic negative beliefs.


Stefanie Grace happy in the kitchen preparing food

Again, become aware of the beliefs, and then CHANGE them. 

On a certain point, when we have ingrained some beliefs for many years, it is hard to just swap them into a positive statement. For example, if you have told yourself your whole life: “I hate my body”, it will be tricky to just change from one day to another into: “I love my body.” Because you just won’t BELIEVE it.

BUT you can start with a step in between and change “I hate my body” to ”I am learning to take care and nourish my body in a loving way.

Instead of “Food is the enemy” let’s say: “Food is nourishing me” and instead of “My appetite is bad”, let’s try: “I am learning to regulate my appetite.”


And always remember: if you don’t change anything – nothing will change.
It’s a practice and you just can not fail.

Thank yourself for taking the time to read, as I do.

Love & Light, yours Grace.

How To Turn Self-Hatred Into Self-Love & Bodypositivity

Ligaya practicing self-love

Do you love yourself?

Are you able to look into your reflection in the mirror – into your own eyes – while saying: “You are beautiful!
Or is this something you would never believe? Is it easier for you to say the opposite, because you believe it more? Telling oneself “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t like my body”, “I am too fat”, often seems easier, than doing the opposite.

There was a time, where I only could tell myself, how much I am disgusted by this body. I told myself all the things I don’t like about this body. I spoke it out loud, while looking into my own eyes – “I hate this belly, I don’t like this body”.

I am not enough. Picture infront of the mirror.

Consequence of Negative Self-Talk

Many times we don’t realize, that we nourish our inner critic while doing this, so it grows bigger and bigger and without even knowing we cultivate self-hatred by telling oneself over and over again, that this body is not good enough, that we are not okay as we are – and in the end – we manifest self-hatred and self-hatred becomes our reality.

My body is not good the way it is.

In consequence of this depression and anxiety arise. Our self-value, self-love and self-esteem are diminished or gone and the frustration grows bigger. We find ourselves in a negative spiral without a way back out.
It sometimes seems impossible. 

But, let me tell you, there is a way out! It can be a long and sometimes hard journey – but it’s definitely worth it going.

Self-Love First. You Are Enough.

Selflove Picture of Ligaya, Stefanie Grace

Tools To Change Negative Self-Talk And Self-Hatred Into Positivity and Self-Love

Here are some tools to change your negative self-talk into positivity.

Start a journal
Reflect on your day, your feelings, your actions and thoughts. What are your triggers and how do you react to them? Why do you feel how you feel?

Be kind with yourself and practice self-compassion
Start talking to yourself like you were talking to a child or a beloved person. You would never be so hard on someone else like you are with you. Practice being kind towards yourself as well, show compassion and always remember to be more patient.

Practice meditation
Meditation helps to get your mind clear. Find calmness in meditation and start with positive affirmations while combining them with your breath, e.g.: breath in “I am” breath out “enough”. Meditation is a great tool to bring yourself back to this present moment – out of the past and back from the future. Notice the sensations in your body, the feelings and emotions which arise – what are the thoughts, the actions which led to those emotions?

Find your ways of self-care
Take care of yourself and find your tools of self-care. Some people need to go to a yoga class or a run, others feel the need of a bubble bath in the candle light. Maybe you need a long walk in the forest or a dip in the sea? 
Self-care can mean to enjoy a cup of tea while reading a book, crafting something or painting a mandala. 
Everyone has a different way – try some and find your way.

Feel your body
It’s really important to rebuild a healthy connection towards the body again. Best way to do this, is to feel the body. Close your eyes and touch your body very gentle. Like you would caress the body of a beloved person. Feel the silhouette of your body and the touch on your skin. Appreciate it and respect it. It is your home, your only one and it’s a good one, just the way it is. Give yourself a hug.

Start with positive affirmations
Tell your reflection in the mirror that you are beautiful the way you are, that you are enough, that you love yourself. And always remember: it needs time to overwrite a manifestation, it needs time to manifest a certain believe. And most important, it needs you to believe this new believes!

After many years of telling yourself one thing, its not done by simply telling yourself ONCE the opposite. You need to say it over and over again. You need to hear it over and over again. You need to say the words, hear the words in your voice in all your confidence!

Let me know if you have experienced negative self-talk and self-hatred and how you are/were handeling it?

Thanks for taking the time to read,
Love & Light, Namasté yours Nini